What Am I Pursuing for?

A question asked from an American friend who is also a teacher and used to study special education that why I wanted to study psychology? She was curious what I aim for and why not study special education if I want to know how to teach pupils with special needs to meet their educational and emotional needs. She asked me this question because she concerned that I might be asked certain questions in the interview....

Interview?! It seems not to come across my mind till she reminded me. After being busy for working and sorting out the application form, I completely forgot that there might be an interview when the applicant lives in the UK. I really appreciate her reminding of this and I think that I have to be prepared if the interview comes.

So what am I aiming for? She asked me lots of questions in a very short time and while I should be in bed at midnight, but I was willing to offer her my answers. I am not quite sure what exactly I could do for the long term objective, but I know that I have devoted myself to the field of special education and I am willing to utmost my best to help people with learning difficulties to be understood, accepted and respected. For the time-being, I know that teachers are essential and key persons to support pupils with special needs but being a teacher at school only has limited influence on certain amount of pupils and people around them. To me, I want to become someone more influential rather than just being a teacher. I might be a bit idealistic but I try to be realistic with my dreams. I don't want to be the same as those idealistic people who give up their dreams because of failure. Every time when I feel frustrated with teaching, I try to encourage myself to see the bright side and especial those strengths and good feedback from pupils and parents then I feel that I have strength to move on and not to give up easily. Therefore, I am eager to do whatever I could to make most of people with learning difficulties to live happily with confidence and dignity.

Hoping to Begin My New Life

Finally I have submitted my application for another Master postgraduate course in London.
As I still haven't received any reference letter, I still have to wait till they get my references to process the application.
What I can do at the moment is to remind my supervisor and my boss of getting the reference letters done as soon as they can. Apart from this, I can do nothing but waiting.

Since I went to visit the school last month on the 16th March, I have a strong feeling of going back to study. Although to study educational psychology seems to be challenging, I really want to go for it. Learning new things always makes me feel good and keeps my motivation in life. Even though I start feeling upset to leave my current job and pupils, I know that my new life will begin.

Looking forward to start new life after this summer.

Enjoy the moment, enjoy my life!

Finally I saw him last weekend. We had a good time and talked about our concerns of our relationship. It seems that both of us have been hurt before, so we both are very cautious and anxious about this. He suggested that we should have a 6-month trial to get to know each other as friends since we have many difficulties and could not give each other any promise at the moment. I was hesitating for a while and felt confused whether I should accept his advice or not. However, after praying to the Lord, I thought that it might be a good advice to protect each other and to know more about each other. Hopefully, we can heal the pain from the past experience by knowing each other. I hope that Lord could give us courage to overcome our difficulties and differences, and let the time tell us what to do then...

Have got my job for a year!!

I cannot believe it...I have got my job offer for a year. I still remembered how excited I was a year ago when I received the e-mail from school. I still remembered that when I first came into this school, how tired I was. I stayed up till midnight to finish the lesson plan, and was exhausted when I was taking the train here. I still remembered that when I went to my classroom, where those students sat.
Lots of things happened within this one year. I couldn't believe that how many things that I have been through and I am so grateful that God is with me and give me so much love and courage to move on each step.

My angels

Yesterday I went to Drama room to watch the rehearsal of my form group. They worked hard together as a group and sang well. I was quite surprised how much they could do. Although some of them got distracted sometimes or got quarrels occasionally, they were still under Drama teacher's control and practised quite well. I was sitting by the window and used my new mobile to film them. It was the first time that I felt that they were my angels. Even though they sometimes could be unkind to me, could be very naughty and do not listen to me always. However, they are kids...they have the right to express themselves in their ways..and they will learn how to behave themselves gradually.
Thanks God that I get on well with my tutor group and hope that they could behave well and progress more. OF course I also hope that we would always have good time at school.

Expecting

It has been over two weeks that I haven't seen him. I am really expecting to see him soon, but it is irritating that I have got infection on my lips again since last Saturday. Although it seems to be better, it is still quite obvious and acking. I am still hesitating if I should go to see him or how to cover it.
The weather is poor now, I hope that it is not a bad sign.
Fingers crossed.....

Dream...

Am I dreaming? If this is a dream, I hope that I would not wake up.
When you asked me if we would see each other again, I hesitated.
I hesitated not because I did not want to see you again, but because I worried if this would not be true. I hesitated if you just said something to make me happy. However, I was very touched especially when you said that you would like to come to visit me just for seeing me. You might not notice that I was weeping when you said so. When you asked me how I was, I pretended that nothing hapended.
I don't know if we could get on well and what will happen in the future, but I hope that this isn't a dream. Or I should say that I hope that my dream would come true!!